Just like your grandparents, and everything else you love for that matter, your iPod will one day die. Last week the Reaper claimed the life of my beloved iPod. I knew that the time was coming. It was a fourth generation click-wheel that was used heavily, everyday for the last three and a half years. In the last month it had been showing the symptoms of a declining device; constant freezes, nonresponsive buttons and such. Nonetheless, I was still taken aback when I turned on the iPod and was greeted with this, the dreaded sad-face iPod icon. I checked the Apple support site, as the sad iPod beckoned me to, and ran through the basic 5Rs or rescuing a downed iPod. They were to no avail. My iPod required servicing.

The problem with servicing the iPod was that it would cost nearly as much as buying a new one. Being the miser that I am, I sleuthed around the internets for an alternative remedy. After awhile I began running into reports from random heroes on blogs and message boards about a possible solution to my dead iPod. I would slam the shit out of my iPod. Just to be clear here, I was going to purposely slam a once $300 electronic device against a hard surface. This might have bothered me more if the iPod was newer or still under warranty, but I figured worst case scenario would be a FUBAR iPod that couldn’t even be serviced. If all worked well I would have a zombie iPod that returned from the dead (unlike all my deceased relatives, so far at least).
Supposedly, the iPod’s hard drive connection becomes loose over time and slamming it down secures the connection. Here are the steps that I took and almost every other site I came across recommends.

1. Find a flat, hard surface (a desk, dresser, table; I’m sure you can figure this out).
2. Find something to soften the impact of slamming the iPod down on the surface (mouse pad, phonebook, pad of paper, t-shirt). The thing here is that you do not want the force of slamming the iPod to dent, chip or crack your iPod or mom’s coffee table.
3. Hold the iPod with the connecting port down. Firmly grasp the iPod and place your thumb on top of the device. Much like when you stab somebody, this will prevent what you are holding to slide through your hands when the force hits.

   

4. Firmly slam the iPod on the covered surface two or three times. If this does not work, try slamming it a little harder.

If this works your iPod should rise from the dead. Where is your God now?